i scream you scream / you stop screaming, i scream louder

ice cream cravings have taken over my life.
access to ice cream during these times of craving are cat-fighting my self-worth.
in the split second that i decide i must have it, i can usually get it.
in the next room.
but not in my own apartment. i never have it there. i also am never home.
and it's not even the fake kind that numbs anxiety with the comfort that it is made purely of chemicals that trick me into thinking i'm eating ice cream when really i am just shoveling numb spoonfuls of frozen Splenda into my mouth.

i have to put clothes on now. i have to go babysit for a few hours now.
i hope they don't have ice cream.